The I can't do this spiral is a loop that most of us at some point in our lives have encountered. It leads us to despair and creates a lack of confidence in our abilities, oft times it can be the thing that deters us from our dreams. When we don't know what to do or feel we can never get it, it can be incredibly frustrating and can make us feel sad and depressed. Or perhaps it's just that niggle in the back of your head that just doesn't sit well with you and it slowly saps the energy and willpower you have for anything. Perhaps.
Either way it is not particularly helpful to let ourselves continue our own perpetual self-doubt or feelings of sadness. Studies have found that negative events have 5 times more weight than positive ones. This is huge and means we can stop feeling so guilty if we latch more onto the negative. It also means we have to work harder to create positive thoughts in our minds. And finally, it means that when we are sad and despairing about our abilities, it means that we have to realise that this could be just part of our natural negativity bias at work.
It is our responsibility to ourselves to stop the spiral in it's track. Instead of dwelling in the feelings of incompetency, we could try to find a way to get better and smarter and work out what is wrong. There are so many resources we can use to help us and we are so lucky to be alive in this generation (especially in western societies). We have access to incredible books out there in shops, libraries (free), online and there are so many amazing people out there who can teach, guide us and want to help, if we just reach out to them.
There are countless ways to learn nowadays. Free online courses (even if you don't have internet or a computer- libraries have free computers and internet) books, tutors, university, friends, family etc. that if you give yourself permission to believe that it's possible you can find a way to get smarter. This will create a positive spiral and help you feel happier with your abilities rather than lost and despairing.
As Marie Forleo would say, 'Everything is figureoutable' if you look for the way you will find it.
Grant yourself permission to hope and find your way.
Wishing you luck on your journey and lots of love
Naomi Leila
Xxx
