We all have ever-growing desires, dreams, needs, things that we want. This is human and is mostly healthy. It is how we expand and get better as individuals and as a collective whole. Without these our world would look so much different, for better or for worse. Without these we would cease to be much different from animals that simply live and exist to live only on the immediate pleasures and necessities of life and survival.
Desires can be both beautiful and terrifying. Simple and complex. Healthy and unhealthy. When we desire something from the world or someone else it's ok and natural to want it and hope that it happens. But we need to search for the reason why we want it.
Ultimately, we don't have control over everything other than ourselves and that's a relief and a distressing thought. It's a relief because the pressure of dealing with every single minutia of the world would be terribly draining and impossible for one human alone. But it can also be a distressing thought because we can't just shape or determine life to be how we want it to be just because we think it ought to be this way or that way. And thank G-d for that because imagine if everything just was the way you wanted it be. Nothing would be a surprise or a challenge, nothing would help us to grow or learn. It would be essentially a meaningless and boring life.
But we're left with a conundrum we have these desires perhaps from the world and from people but we know we can only control ourselves and nothing else. We could just let whatever happens, happen and let our desires just sit with us maybe blissfully fulfilled or perhaps depressingly unfulfilled, depending on how life pans out. Or we could bury our desires and pretend like we don't want anything at all and never seek anything that could improve us or the world. Or alternatively, we could seek to understand our desires better, explore the reasons why we want whatever it is that we want and then rather than seeking for an external fulfilment of that desire (that may or may not happen) we could find a way to fulfil this desire for ourselves. Thus putting us back in control and ensuring that we feel happier with our lives.
For example, let's say you want your boss to treat you with more respect or to not belittle you. You can and should probably talk to him about how it is your feeling and try to resolve it and work to a better work environment together or leave if it's really too hard to work with. But sometimes this is either impossible or you tried and they just don't take it in. They agree and then later just repeat the same behaviours as they previously did, despite your conversation. So what do you do? You desire more respect from your boss but the external world is not granting you that wish fulfilment.
Here, the trick would be to seek why you are seeking more respect in the first place? What is the reason? Is it because you maybe have an inferiority complex or you want to feel that you're doing a good job? Doesn't matter the reason but we should try to find the reason why it matters to you? Why do you desire this? It could just be as simple as you want a nicer work environment. But the power always lies in your hand to ultimately gratify your own desire. For within you lies the strength to show yourself respect. How have you been disrespecting yourself, your intellect, abilities, looks etc.? What thoughts are you telling yourself which are only harming your self-esteem and self-worth. How much respect do you have for yourself really? How could you switch your current behaviours to yourself so that you feel more respected?
Sometimes the world reflects how we are feeling back to ourselves. Ultimately by achieving more self-respect we can gain more respect from our colleagues and bosses. It's the energy and self-sabotaging thoughts people pick up on subconsciously that make them treat you in the exact way you are harming yourself. By regaining your personal power and treating yourself with more respect you 1. fulfil and gratify your inherent desire and 2. might be pleasantly surprised to find that as you fulfil your own desire and increase your own self-respect, your boss ends up treating you with more respect.
I hope that you can find it within you to fulfil your own desires in every way and make your own wishes come true
Lots of Love
Naomi Leila
Xxx
