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  • Writer's pictureNaomi Leila🌸

Don't empty the cup too much

Updated: Feb 24, 2020

Giving is a beautiful thing. It is the pillar behind kind communities and people. Undoubtedly, it both enriches our world and ourselves in so many wondrous ways. Through giving we learn to be better and do better. Even by stopping for one moment and giving one smile or one cheery hello we can create ripple effects that will stretch farther than we can imagine.

It would seem to make sense than to say, 'it is always better to give than to take'. But herein lie some traps. We can trick ourselves that we need to give even when it is at the detriment of ourselves, we forget that we need to give to others and to ourselves. You simply can't give as well when running on no sleep, no food, no drink etc. In fact, I would argue that when we really are out of it even though the initial gesture was to give you end up taking. For example, say you have had an extra long work week, you come home and just feel like you are going to drop. A friend calls you and says they'd like your advice on something. You think, 'well this is my really good friend and they are so kind, I really want to help them and it would be good to give them advice and help them out'. So you pick up the phone and talk with them for the next few hours. But there is an edge in your voice, you can't seem to see clearly what the issue is and suddenly perhaps you get so gun-ho over one point that you snap. The exhaustion has crept up on you and is sapping your ability to be kind and

generous but you think it's better that you tried than not at all. Your friend however senses something was up with you and feels more confused than when she first asked your help so she spends more time trying to figure it out. You feel bad that you snapped so you spend more time trying to rectify the situation, drain your already depleted energies and get even less sleep than you would have. This is a disastrous, negative cycle where you actually have become the taker not the giver. It would have been far better in this instance to give yourself time to refresh and unwind and then try to help your friend.

When your cup gets so depleted, you need to look at how to replenish it. If we hit the bottom of our cup and still try to give when it is empty all we do is hit the cold steel of resentment, bitterness and overwhelm and bring our worst, crabby selves out causing everyone discomfort and malaise. We need to try to find the balance between giving and replenishing our energy.

The most enjoyable, beneficial way to give is when our cup is overflowing so that giving becomes a natural extension of ourselves and that people can really feel the highest good from all sides. In this way, there is no distress or tiny edges of resistance. There is only love continuously flowing over to the ones we give to and seeping through between all the cracks in our armours and the world.

We need to remember to allow others to help too and that taking is not a negative act when done from a loving, open place. It is the allowance of other people to do the amazing act of giving. It allows them to grow and spread their positive light around the world.

Both giving and taking have the potential to be beautiful and disastrous. It is only when we are truly aligned that we can see how to both give as much as we can and how to graciously accept help that is offered to us.

Sending my love your way to find the balance between giving and taking.

May your cup always be overflowing

Lots of Love

Naomi Leila


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