Often we look at life through the lens of scarcity. This can lead to us becoming highly competitive with everyone we encounter and make us greet life like a game.
There is a time to be competitive. Competitions can help us strive to be more than what we already are, so we can reach our full potentials. But as with everything there is a balance to how we view competition and comparison.
Comparison is helpful when we view other people's positive traits as fuel, to inspire ourselves, to become the best possible versions of ourselves. It is a wonderful tool, to see where we can improve in our lives and see what can be possible. But when we turn this tool into a battering ram to our self-worth and constantly view ourselves as less than or not enough, the benefits of comparison are eradicated.
To gain only benefits from comparison we must realise two essential things:
1. Everyone has unique qualities to them that make them special. It is the way that your attributes come together that make you, you. Being number 1 at a sport, or being a billionaire, or a model, is only one attribute to someone, it is not a complete picture of the person. Whilst, you may admire that person for being the top in their field and use that as inspiration to fuel you to be better, if you never make it to number one, realise what you are striving towards is only a small part of you. You have other qualities that the person at number 1 lacks, that they may wish to have. We never see the full picture of a person, no matter how much we may think we know about them. Every human being has so many facets and complexities to them. It is nigh on impossible to ever truly know anyone. If you are doing your best and achieving your personal best, that is what is most important because the world needs each unique soul.
It's okay to be competitive and compare ourselves in a healthy way. For example, perhaps we love running and we want to be a professional runner. In this case, it might be useful for us to look and see what is the fastest speed that anyone has run a mile in. This could help us motivate ourselves to run faster and be the best runner that we can be. But we need to realise that the true competition is with ourselves. We may not be capable of being the world's fastest runner. We can try our best and keep seeking to better our running speeds but we must remember that the ultimate reason we are running is because we love. If we never make it to the top that's okay because perhaps our purpose is to be a good runner, who is also a good friend. Or perhaps, we may be a great runner and also know how to speak 2 languages. It doesn't matter what the combination is, but just know that we each have a unique combination of skills and a purpose for being here, even if it is not always clear. Striving to be more than what we are is how we grow and it is important. But equally important is realising how far we have come and being satisfied with achieving our personal best.
2. All ships sail at high tides - live in an abundant mindset. There is room in the world for us all to be happy. Someone else's light does not diminish our own. We must look at ourselves like candles. Just like when you light another candle the existing flame does not diminish, so too do we not get lesser by helping someone else shine or acknowledging their light. In fact, the light that we see in others is a reflection of our own inner light. A helpful tool that we can use to remember this and end any unhealthy comparison loops is the prayer, 'The light I see in them is a reflection of my inner light' (Gabrielle Bernstein).
Don't get scared by someone else's talents, desires, happiness, wealth etc. There is more than enough to go around. Try to see that life is abundant and has an ever flowing stream of gifts, that can be shared with everyone. One way to do this is to realise that you have everything you need right now. Once we are truly satisfied with what we have than we can attract more of that happiness and abundance into our lives.
Wishing you to see light and inspiration
Naomi Leila Xx
p.s. How do you get out of a negative comparative loop? If you have any tips that I haven't mentioned please leave them in the comments below. I always love to learn more and hear your thoughts :)
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